Schedenfreude: The Soundtracks of Our Emotions

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“Take your passion & make it happen”
Flashdance, Irene Cara
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Yes, Irene Cara off of the Flashdance song, having passion can drive you to success, well done you. But sometimes it takes slightly more to achieve your life ambition than just having self-belief doesn’t it, Irene Cara off of the Flashdance song? And soppy lyrics like yours sometimes gives us false hopes of being able to smash our goals with nothing more than a bit of confidence don’t they, Irene Cara off of the Flashdance song?

My apologies, Irene Cara off of the Flashdance song, I don’t mean to make an example of you. I actually really like you & your Flashdance song when I’m drunk. It’s nothing personal, Irene Cara off of the Flashdance song, it’s just ridiculous that so many poor souls have been lead to believe that having faith in themselves is all they need to succeed in life when, in truth, it takes way more.

Sure, it’s absolutely amazing when people do have the strength to make their dreams reality through their own self belief & a never-give-up attitude &, even as cynical as I am, I still feel a strange sense of pride when others do achieve. But what if someone’s aim in life was, say, to become a parent?

No amount of faith in yourself can get you pregnant or help you start a family. Obviously a positive attitude could maybe help you find the pieces need to start a family, such as finding a partner or taking yourself to see a fertility specialist, but the point I make is that more than just a positive attitude is needed to succeed in many cases.

Sometimes reaching our goals are beyond our control & regardless of how badly we want them, our success quite often relies wholly on other people. Be as Beyonce as we like with the Independent “you go grrrryfreeeeynd” Woman attitude that her songs fill us with but these things unfortunately depend on somebody else.

Even in a seemingly more achievable goal like working a specific job role takes more than the hope these uplifting songs fill us with.

Regardless of how confident we are, how hard we try, how much we prepare, how skilled we are in that area, if the fat cat sitting at the other side of the desk doesn’t like the cut of our jib when he interviews us, we aren’t getting that dream job.

We can take Aaliyah’s advice & fill our heads with that “if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off & try again” spirit but that won’t make the holder of the key to our dream like us any more than they already do(n't). If anything, they’ll probably just think we’re stupid for seeming to beg for the position they so blatently rejected us from.

But, on the flip side, we have our not-so-uplifting songs with negative narratives & angry choruses that just need to be sung along with. Badly. And loudly. With feeling.  

And, surprisingly, the feelings we belt out these songs with (off key, naturally!) are not negative ones but positive feelings of relief, understanding, gratitude, hope & – if nothing else – that uplifting feeling of screaming at the top of your lungs & getting “it” all off your chest.

Schadenfreude is a wonderful thing & simply knowing that the warblers singing these songs are struggling in the same way as we are instantly makes us feel better.
 

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“Gary: Right now you are down & out
And feeling really crappy.
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me... Happy?
Sorry, Nicky, human nature
There’s nothing I can do.
It’s Schadenfreude
Making me feel glad that I’m not you.

Nicky: Well, that’s not very nice, Gary.

Gary: I didn’t say it was nice... But everybody does it!”
Schadenfreude, Avenue Q
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How many chick flicks (inc. spoofs, as this is the most cliched scenario ever in the entire world ever) have we seen a woman getting drunk alone, eating ice cream in her pjyamas & screaming All By Myself into a hair brush before then picking herself up by the end of the film?

Answer: fuckloads.

That depressing song of loneliness allowed Miss Cliched Loner to accept her sorry situation, get it all out of her system & allow her to move on to become Mrs Typically Swept Off Her Feet Before the End Credits.  It also, more importantly, has allowed us to do the same thing to that same song in that schadenfruede way by reminding us of the tragic spinster-turned-superwoman in the film; we might be feeling low but we’ll never feel that low, bitch.

If nothing else, the very fact that somebody must’ve been “all by themself” to have even written All By Myself in the first place can instantly make her, me, us feel instantly better by simply knowing that we’re not the only person to have ever felt this alone. And singing along at the top of our voices makes us understand that & makes us feel better.

I told you that Schadenfreude is a wonderful thing, kids! So wonderful, in fact, that it even works in a selfless way that doesn’t make us feel like we’re gonna go to hell by taking pleasure in the misfortune of others, as it lets other sad cases feel better because they’re simply not us:
 

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“The world needs people like you & me
Who’ve been knocked around by fate
‘Cause when people see us,
They don’t wanna be us,
And that makes them feel great.
We provide a vital service to society, you & me.
Schadenfreude, making the world a better place to be”
Schadenfreude, Avenue Q
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So, next time you have one of those days & look for that song to listen to, ditch the typical reach-for-the-sky-and-fall-into-the-stars-if-you-don’t-make-it-because-stars-are-still-proper-ace song, because it will only make you feel worse when you discover that you probably can't achieve your goal so easily. 

Instead, go for the classic sulks of Alannis Morrisette’s Ironic.

Don’t trouble yourself with the gramatical “but, Alannis Morrisette off of the Ironic song, this is all just unfortunate, not ironic!” argument, just revel in the fact that she too is having a bad day & just sing along without giving a single fuck about anything else. We'll find our positivity in our own way without being patronised by cheesy lyrics.